For men, opening up about grief can be a challenge never worth undertaking, for fear of judgment and shame.
This Grief Awareness Week, Honeysuckle FC is challenging the stereotypes of how men deal with loss.
Honeysuckle FC is a collaboration between Liverpool Women’s hospital and the LFC Foundation to support male players who have experienced pregnancy loss or early neonatal death.
The group runs biweekly, offering a safe space for men who feel support after losing their baby is not accessible to them.
Marie Kelleher, a bereavement specialist midwife at Liverpool Women’s Hospital, approached the LFC Foundation for help, after conversations with fathers who had suffered losses.
She said: “They talked about football as a way of doing something in memory of their baby but also releasing some energy and getting a little bit healthier.
“I think they inspire conversation with each other and give ideas for hope and a sense of normality.”
Before each training session or match, they have ‘a changing room chat’ for an hour, to discuss how their week has been, supported by the LFC Foundation mental health team, peer support volunteers and their teammates.
Mark Henderson, mental health co-ordinator at the LFC Foundation said, “The men took it upon themselves to feel the need to have that stiff upper lip and to be the support mechanism for their family, wife or partner, when actually, there wasn’t a great deal out there to support their grief.”
The group is attended by men across Merseyside and beyond, as far as North Wales and Staffordshire, and they’re not just Liverpool supporters. The group also has Evertonians and even a Geordie.
Although this creates ‘changing room banter’ within the team and breaks the ice, it also shows that rivalries can be put aside when it comes to supporting one and another through something bigger than football.
Ex Liverpool and England goalkeeper, Chris Kirkland, who is also an LFC Foundation Community ambassador, is proud to work on such a special project.
He said: “I saw how special the group was, how special the people here were and how much it was needed as well.
“I’ve spoken about my personal struggles in the past with mental health and addiction, so a lot of the lads know that I’m there if they need to talk about stuff that’s going on in their personal lives as well.”
Thanks to Honeysuckle, many members have now been able to open up to their partners and family members, tremendously improving relationships for those who have suffered loss.
